im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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