Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
