Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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