maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
