So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
