I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Send help, water and tortillas.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
