I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
