In the future we'll all be gay
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize