I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
