i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
