He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
