Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
