My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
