would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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