how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
