You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize