have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
