It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize