He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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