MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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