The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize