She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Randomize
