No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
