I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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