If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
