lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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