Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
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