After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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