you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
