id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
