She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
