Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
