He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
