just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
