I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
it's like iHOP with fire
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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