I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
