I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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