Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
