She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
