is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
