ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
