His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
