so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
