so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
