did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Randomize