So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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