Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
