Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
