I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
