shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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