Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
