Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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