Just fell off a train. Bad.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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