Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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