i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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