Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
