there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
