Don't you send me to vm
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
