we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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