I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
