I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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