You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
