I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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